Vacations are great

But how can I thrive more in my real life so I don't need to escape?

I recently had the most amazing two day retreat (a huge thank you to my mom who made sure the whole thing happened). I ate lovely food not cooked by me, I did a lot of yoga and meditation. I drummed like a wild woman on an exercise ball singing “Rolling in the Deep” at the top of my lungs with an enormous grin plastered on my face. I slept (this might have been the most important piece). I felt lighter and much less stressed.

My inspiration for my cardio drumming class (full video)

But I had this persistent thought while I was away: I want to have more of this feeling in my regular life, not only when I escape. I need a small shift to shore up the foundation of the house.

I actually feel pretty good about my classic self-care practices. I hike a few times a week. I meditate most days. I eat well. I spend time with friends and family. I take baths (these are mission critical). I play guitar. I play with my kids. I play here at Noodling…

That said, I have also been known to eat gobs of chocolate, scroll on my phone too much, eat whole foods frozen pizza too often for dinner (this one is so great!), and exercise, well, not enough. I am not as virtuous as the previous paragraph makes me sound!

There are some big things I am working on shifting to make thriving a priority, but those are not going to happen overnight. I could eat less chocolate but, honestly, that’s not really on the table.

I firmly believe that life can be a deeply joyful experience, and I am not willing to compromise on that. I also embrace all of the other stuff - grief, anger, frustration, fear etc. but I just mean that I am just not satisfied with going through the motions. The good news: I think tiny shifts can profoundly impact our lives.

Untitled, South Beach, Miami, 1982-85 by Gay Block

On a whim, before leaving my retreat, I signed up for one last class. It was called “yoga for laughter.” I had no idea what to expect. It was as wacky and weird as one could imagine. It was a revelation.

Have I mentioned this before? I can’t remember. I will risk repeating myself. During the pandemic, I went through a stretch where I absolutely needed to watch at least one episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee at night once I had put my kids to bed. I often repeated my favorites: Will Ferrell (his SNL audition as a cat!), Kristen Wiig (that Volvo!) and Kate McKinnon (it is all just pure gold).

I would LOVE to be funny. It is one of my very favorite qualities in a person. Two of my best friends in high school: HILARIOUS. While other people were dealing with high school angst, we were obsessed with Zoolander, kept copies of The Onion and “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handy in our cars to read to one another while we drove around or sat in the McDonald’s parking lot (this was Kansas in the late 90s, we didn’t have a ton of options). My memories of this time in my life are filled with side-splitting laughter.

After the yoga for laughter class, a few us were talking about how great the experience had been. One woman said “I am a primary care physician and I see so many people come in that are bound so tight. They have high blood pressure and are exercising like crazy, trying to manage many markers of inflammation, but their cortisol is constantly spiked. I need to get them to laugh. It sounds too simple, but it could shift so much.”

A 2005 study by Dr. Michael Miller, director of the Center of Preventive Cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center, found that laughter caused the tissue in the inner lining of blood vessels, known as endothelium, to expand allowing more blood flow.

"When you laugh for 15 minutes, the increase in the diameter of the blood vessel is similar to what you get when you run, jog or do aerobic-like activity," said Dr. Miller in a CNN interview.

While laughing for 15 minutes sounds challenging without the company of my high school friends, I feel like I could still make some progress here.

There are statistics floating around that all say something like a typical five year old laughs around 300 times a day while a typical forty year old laughs around four. My son is five. I am forty. I can’t find the source material but the numbers sound about right.

While I probably laugh more than most adults, I could do better. The yoga for laughter teacher said she knew of a study where it didn’t matter if the laughter was real or forced, both had a positive impact on people.

So, on days when I don’t I find enough material in my own life, I might try just faking it until I make it. Unlike the chocolate restriction, this is a shift I am willing to try. 300 times a day is a lot but also there is a lot of upside between 4 and 300. It is mine for the taking.